HELP - The Magic Word

 

Recently I was reminded of an event that happened many years ago.  I was a young engineer attending the monthly meeting of the local chapter of the Indiana Society of Professional Engineers.  One of the older engineers came up to me and asked me if I would help him work on the membership committee.  At the time I thought, “What do I know about membership?”  I only recently had become a professional engineer and begun attending meetings.  But when he also approached another young engineer and invited us both to a meeting at his office the following week, I figured, why not.

 

Well his office was a fancy 10^th floor corner office over-looking downtown Indianapolis.   I was very impressed and surprised that this older, well-established engineer would ask for my help.  At the same time, I was flattered to be invited.  As a result of this chance opportunity not only did I get to become friends with other engineers in the city and actually increase our chapter membership, but I learned the power and finesse of asking for help.

 

I have never forgotten that little experience, and it comes in so handy.  At my church we never seem to have enough money to pay others to do everything that needs to be done like pulling weeds in the flower beds, cleaning out the storage closets, changing light bulbs, deep cleaning, repairing chairs and tables, changing furnace filters and cleaning rain gutters.  So we need to rely on volunteers.  The easy way to ask for volunteers is to put a note in the church newsletter.  But, guess what, it doesn’t work well.  Few people show up for work days.  What really works is to personally say, “I (we) need your help to ….”  This works particularly well when you have carefully considered the task and the qualifications of the person you are asking to help.

 

As was the case for me as a young engineer, the qualifications don’t have to be great.  The qualifications might be someone with bright eyes eager to learn or someone who physically can’t climb ladders, but who can purchase supplies or bring lunch.

 

At this point I have several rules that I try to follow when asking for help.

·        Be direct – Ask outright.  Don’t be namby-pamby about it or beat around the bush.

·        Make it easy – Be prepared and organized.  Have supplies.  Have directions.  Make it convenient.  Provide refreshments.  Go to them rather then make them come to you.

·        Be Clear – Make sure you have thought through exactly what it is that you want.  Give enough details.  Clearly state what you want to accomplish or want the outcome to be.

·        Spread it out – Ask a team of people.  Ask for small amounts of help over a longer period of time.  Make sure the person knows this is not a bottomless pit they are getting into.

·        Allow flexibility – When possible give people choices of when to provide the help or which chore to work on.  If someone says “No” be a little persistent.  Ask if this is an inappropriate request, is another time better, would you be interested in helping in the future.

I find the magic word “help” also effective in the workplace.  If you are getting behind on your assignment or if you don’t know how to do something, all you have to do is ask for help.  There is something about being honored to be asked that makes this all work.  People feel good about being able to lend a hand or share experience and knowledge.  For most people, providing support is as important as getting support.  When we help others, we feel like better human beings. Why deny others the chance to feel the same way?

 

All of us from time to time, be it in our work life, our service life or personal life can use some help.  All you need to do is ask.  And then don’t forget the other magic words, say “thank you.”